I got a hotdog for lunch today since I was stuck at the
airport & felt hungry. They say not to ask what hotdog’s are
made of, but I was curious– always have been– so I asked
the hotdog man, “Hey, man. What are in these things?”
& he said, “Don’t ask” so I dropped the subject matter
completely. I was starvin’ anyway. It could have been made
from a horse’s larynx or Cousin Chuck’s small intestine for
all I cared.
Cousin Chuck died in a vehicular accident 3 years ago. His
wheelchair hit an icy spot on a sidewalk downtown, you
know– that street with the hill– & he slid all the way down
the road, through a glass window, & over a shopping mall
railing, falling 3 stories to his impending death. splat. You
don’t walk away from that.
But ya know? People are falling all the time. Falling in all
kinds of ways too: falling down, falling in traps, falling for
tricks, falling into folly, falling in love, & falling 3 stories
down a shopping mall.
All people. Everywhere. Are falling.
My vexillologist told me that.
She said Really Everyone: People who wear camo to blend
in, people who go to church on Sundays, people who ride
bikes & collect records, people who sleep in on Sundays, people in
business suits, people in swimsuits, people in hats: (baseball
caps, turbans, top haps, bowler hats, patty hats, skullcaps,
berets, fedoras, yarmulkes), old people without hats to cover their bald
heads, people from other countries who don’t speak like we
do, people from your own house who you barely even know,
& really all the people in your world.
However big or small that may be.
Just like the shoes I bought at Shirley’s Shoe Shop last
Saturday, I told her. Red flag. The left shoe was too big while
the right was too small.
I wrote Shirley a letter:
To Shirley, The Manager, or even Jesus Christ,
Hello sir & fuck you. I bought some shoes at your
store last Saturday & one was six sizes smaller than the
other. unlike my balls or your wife’s tits, my feet are the
same size. what gives? your shoe store sure shakes. go be
an undertaker or something useful. one size fits all. easy as
gravy. six feet deep, man & I ain’t talkin’ about shoes. If you
don’t trade your shoe laces for cold faces, I’ll shoot & shout
my mouth off so that the talk of the town is how you should
get the boot. kickoff’s about to start. got my chips & beer.
say hi to your wife for me.
Cordially yours when you’re the last warm body on Earth,
Talon Tate the Talented
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